Ornithologists have identified more than four hundred kinds of finches. Biologists have identified 500 breeds of dogs. I'm no scientist, but in my half century of preaching I have observed many varieties of preachers. Among them are the following:
* There is the "hired hand" type of preacher. He does so much work for so much pay. He is strictly a 9-5 man who is not going to strain or inconvenience himself for the church. He is not going to go the second mile for the Lord's cause (Matt. 5:41). Jesus called such men hirelings (John 10:12).
* There is the "do as little as you can" man. He is lazy. Like lazy workers in other occupations, he will pretend to be busy when someone is watching. He will stay out of sight when possible. He will do just enough to make it through another week. Such men are always prompt and present on payday.
* There is the "office-manager" kind of preacher. He sees his role to be to supervise others. He delegates their tasks, he checks to make sure things get done, but he does little himself. He has no time for soul-winning. That is for those under his supervision. Not only the staff, but the entire congregation is viewed as workers he is privileged to supervise.
* There is the "reluctant preacher." He is the man who really never wanted to preach. His parents or his wife pushed and prodded him to take up preaching as his occupation. His commitment is not personal. His heart is elsewhere. He has no fire in his bones compelling him to preach (Jer. 20:9; I Cor. 9:16). His lessons and public life reflect his lack of zeal and interest. He may believe and the right things, but under his preaching a church will wither and die.
* There is the "school boy preacher." He wants the church to support him, but he much prefers going to school to doing the work of an evangelist. Life on campus and in the classroom is so much more exciting than seeking and saving the lost. The church gets the crums left from his time in the classroom.
* There is the "Chief Executive Officer" type. He has reached the pinnacle of his profession. He has risen above the mundane jobs that most preachers gladly do. He must have his staff of helpers. Someone must answer his phone, type his letters, make his travel arrangements. He is too important for such trivial things. He is too busy to be bothered by troubled souls. Seeking the lost is for lesser servants. In his mind he has done the church a favor by allowing them to claim him as their senior minister.
* There is the "climbing variety" of preacher. He aspires to reach the CEO position. To achieve his goal he is constantly looking for an opportunity to move up to a bigger, more impressive congregation. The idea of staying with a small congregation and building it up, does not appeal to him. He wants to move into the executive suite and assume the corner office he thinks he deserves.
* There is the "huckster" preacher. He gets a full-time salary from the church, but he always has something to sell to make a few extra bucks. It might be insurance, stocks, real-estate, Amway, etc. To this type, the church is a perfect place to find prospective buyers.
* There is the "taskmaster." This type of preacher is always cracking his whip over the backs of his brothers and sisters, driving them on in accomplishing the tasks he deems important. He is a master at making Christians feel guilty. Rather than persuade or lead by example, he congers up the fires of hell.
* There is the "prosecutor" type. He sees his role to be that of pointing out the sins and failures of others. He magnifies their sins and exposes them for all to see. His auditors may fear him, but no one loves the prosecutor type of preacher.
* There is preacher who "desires to be the judge of others." He does not realize that he is really the one on trial. He sees himself as morally and spiritual superior to others and thus qualified to examine their lives and pronounce them guilty. He thinks Romans 14:4 and James 4:11-12 do not apply to him.
* There is the "private detective" type. He feels constrained to discover all the private flaws in his brothers and sisters' lives. He snoops, he inquires, he asks personal questions. This he does, not to help the sinner, but to get the goods on them. Of course he is offended should anyone do the same to him (Matt. 7:12).
* There is the preacher "who bullies others." In his mind, his position makes him bigger and tougher than all the rest of his peers. His way is the right way. His idea is always the best. Anyone who gets in his way, anyone who challenges him, he tries to intimidate. He is able to use the Bible as a club to beat others into submission.
* There is man who is a "gatekeeper of the church." Such a man feels qualified and authorized to decide who can or cannot come into the Lord's church or at least into the congregation where he serves. A person may understand God's will and be eager to comply with it, but the gatekeeper tells them that they are not acceptable. He pronounces their repentance inadequate. He feels he is capable of discerning the thoughts of people's hearts when they were baptized. He also takes it upon himself to declare others with whom he disagrees to be out of good standing with the Lord of the kingdom.
* There is the preacher who is really just an "entertainer." People call this type, "Showboat." Such a man wants to be cute, to make people laugh and have fun. The serious business of preaching the gospel seems stale and boring to him.
* There is the "demolition man." His method and manners are such that instead of building up the church and gathering souls for Christ, he scatters the people and wrecks congregations that have the misfortune to have employed him.
* There is the "robotic preacher." He has been programed. He went to Bible College. He read 25 basic religious books. His data base contains his 208 sermons and nothing else. He has his prepared answers to the most common questions of life, nothing more. Should a new question arise, or a new challenge confront the church, he goes mute. He has nothing to say. He knows not how to respond to the challenge. Worse, he does want to learn how to answer such things.
* There is the "anti-social preacher." This type loves to preach but does not like people. He does not care to engage with his brethren socially. He might be dynamite in the pulpit, but a congregation will seldom prosper under his teaching. We are to love the brotherhood (I Pet. 2:17), but this brother loves them only from a distance.
* There is the "anti-kid preacher." He can't remember when he was a child. He is irritated if children don't act like adults when they come to church. He fusses about them and scolds them. He has no time to interact with them. They kids quickly figure out that he doesn't like them. Many of them will not survive this man.
* There is the "athletic preacher." He draws his pay from the church but his real interest in life is his golf game or the church's ball team, or his squash game or whatever his sport may be.
* Then there is the faithful servant of Christ who proclaims the gospel; who leads the church to victory; who brings many to salvation (I Tim. 4:6). He is God's man (I Tim. 6:11). Those he helped to rescue from the ruin of sin will sing his praise. His brethren will honor him as their mentor and guide. God will reward him as a "good and faithful servant" (Matt. 25:21).